people never cease to amaze me...

original post date: august 21st 2006

I wonder just what it would be like to care about what other people thought of me. I mean, this is not to say I dont care about anything at all, but for the most part I just dont care if you like or dislike me. There are plenty of people out there so concerned with what other people think about them that it consumes them. It boggles my mind how these people even get out of bed each morning without having a panic attack as to what misfortunes the day might bring. I am not a person held hostage by personal possessions or the appearance of wealth and fortune. I just dont care about those things all that much. I care even less about what people think of me.

You know though, I am pretty sure these people dont even know that they are the way they are. They have put on a little show, expressing a fake being, for so long they lose themselves in the whole façade. Why do people act like they care about you, when its so very obvious that they have no interest in you unless its solely beneficial to maintaining their fake world while simultaneously raising themselves up on a self fulfilled pedestal so as to look down on you.

I am about to be 25 years-old and not that I am self-proclaiming sagacity - but rather saying that over the years, I have become more keen on seeing these types of people in their truest of forms. I have little to no patience for these people. I am the furthest thing from a judgmental being. I dont care what you own, I dont care what walk of life you came from, and least of all - I dont care if you have screwed up in any way. For the record, we all have been erroneous in nature in one way or another and I am the last person to judge someone else for making mistakes.

Judgmental people typically have no justification for holding such judgments on others. I have yet to come across a judgmental person who has passed positive judgment. In my experience, these judgmental people are disgusted with their own lives and the only way they can feel better about their current situation is to drag someone else through the mud. Your typical bully syndrome, no doubt.

And what is the reaction from the other side of the beast? It has been my general observation that people on the other side, fit nicely into three categories: The Mute, The Follower, and the Care-lackers.

The Mute is the person sitting across from the undeserved lashing. In response to a complete disregard for the value of another human being, they sit there and unwillingly take the abuse. Most people hate the feeling of being judged and/or looked down upon, but rarely do they raise their verbal shield of defense to deflect uninvited negativity. Judgmental people who have an insatiable need to feel superior to others love these people. They are more apt to being able to control these individuals. However, there is an undetermined breaking point when that person says enough is enough. Some people make it successfully thus graduating them to the Care-lackers grouping. Those who never do - they are the true Mutes!

The Followers can fall into two subsets: those who know they are and those that do not. The knowing Follower would rather sit on the right hand of the devil then the way of his or her wrath. These people join into a judgmental pattern thus creating and ultimately losing themselves in a self-manifested façade of a life. They eventually graduate to an independently judgmental being that can destroy without the direction of the leader. The second subset is those who do not know they are a Follower. Simply put, they are training to be independently selfish, judgmental and superior to others - if they are not already there. It is the peer pressure mentality - where there is strength in numbers. But really what you have to ask yourself is if you have a bunch of people who are really weak at the core, what kind of army are they truly forming? I say an unknowing self-loathing army.

The third group, the Care-lackers, are the ones who are wise to these people and refuse to let them make a chink in their armor. These are the ones that Judgmental people hate. They cannot get to them and even worse, they cannot control them. Since I am most familiar with this category, I see how these judgmental people treat the Care-lackers. They go out of their way to make us look badly. They say horrible things about us behind our backs. They do everything they can to make the Care-lackers uncomfortable. The problems is, the Care-lackers - LACK the care. Its only a dull-hum of annoyance to Care-lackers.

Personally, I take some strange comfort in knowing I dont care about who or what these people are and more importantly I dont care what they say about me. Anyone who would believe the smut that pours out of these peoples mouths belongs in the Followers category and therefore, subsequently, they are no friend of mine. Either way, I have a small group of close friends and family members and my life is in the best place it can possibly be in at this point - only to be in a better place tomorrow.

That is more then most people can say for themselves and something a judgmental person can only say and never truly mean.