while i should be working...

original post date: november 29th 2007

So I am going to go buy a new 2008 Honda Civic on Saturday. I emailed a picture of the car I want to my coworker, and the emails posted below is the ridiculousness that directly followed…

From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:02 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

very pretty. I love the gunmetal grey
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:03 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Oh me too… I saw one @ Honda yesterday and ALMOST shed a tear… but I maintained!
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:05 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

You're right around the corner....
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:07 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

I know – I am so excited!
Side note: I need to go get some shoes @ lunch today… I have none. I decided that I will wear a dress I have @ the house. That's done and really I was tired of thinking about it anyhow. So I will find some killer shoes and call it a day!
You wanna go?
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:11 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Believe me...I would LOVE to since I need to get some shoes, too....but I have to go to the dr. I had forgotten that my doctor referred Jason to this dermatologist. She confirmed his diagnosis, and after he slathered up with the lotion last night, he is cured. She wants to me to come in now.... ugh.

hmmm. I could move the appt to 4pm, but I think Ron would expect me to stay here during lunch.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:13 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

You're @ $32K and you can always do one of these numbers… I was supposed to go @ lunch but she was overbooked and had to reschedule me for 4pm. =)
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:20 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

ok. I will have to call to make sure that they have a slot open. They're excellent about getting me in, but she's only open from 12-5pm each day.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:29 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Dude… we need to open a doctors office – I like the old 12-5 schedule! Haha!
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:32 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Tell me about it! One day a week she's open until 7. On Fridays, she leaves at 4:30 to be home before dark b/c of the Sabbath. She's a very observant Jew and very strange.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:35 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

I think she's "selectively" observant. Sounds fishy to me… like a Jew-front… that's it… she's putting on a front and she's hiding behind Judaism. How convenient. Not to mention, those folks don't believe in hell. Nicely done… leave work on Friday @ 4:30 and no hell. I think she's on to something…
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:38 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

OH MY GOSH. You are hilarious.
Do they really not believe in hell? Seriously? I'm going to ask her b/c she and I get into some crazy talks at times.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:41 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Yeah – I'm drop dead serious... no hell. Here's your set up in the office…
She says – so, I'm not gonna give you any Vicodin. You say – I'll see you in hell then! She says – No you won't… WE (collective Judaism "we") don't believe in hell.
I'm telling you – it's the perfect set up!
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:43 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Laugh out loud. That is soooo dang funny. I'm gonna ask.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:49 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

How many ppl are you forwarding this email to? I sure don't wanna look like an anti-Semite. Ah hell… (I take that back… there is NO hell)… AH heavens… who really cares?! Being a Catholic – we did the cafeteria plan. We took a little from a lot of religions. I really can't be mad that the Jews don't believe in hell… I sure wish the Catholics woulda gotten a helping of no hell when they snatched up the Jewish tradition of being able to celebrate Sunday's mass on Saturday AS LONG AS it is after 5:30pm. Really, I'm mad @ the Catholics. Tell them that… that should help!
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 9:56 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

I'm not forwarding to anyone. I just think your tone/knowledge on the topic is hysterical. I am going to ask her about hell.
Oh, and she lost custody to all 5 of her children, 2 are bipolar. Her exhusband is in cohoots with a Dallas judge that he paid who also knows a few psychiatrists that testified in court against her. Her life is CRAZY.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 10:05 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Listen – I have a VERY good knowledge of hell. The Catholics have this thing we call a "well-defined conscience" – well, we should anyhow. That's supposed to keep us on the straight and narrow… being a scared of the idea of hell. Well screw that… I think that I'm going to drop Judaism and Catholicism and go with Calvinism. Those guys believe in predestination. So if you are one of the "chosen ones" no matter what you do they believe you go to heaven. Altho, if you aren't a chosen one… that'd kinda suck. It's 50/50, I like my odds!
As for your doctor, it sounds like it's a good things she doesn't believe in hell. If she was a Catholic – she may have already purchased herself a one way ticket to an eternity of fire and solitude. Lucky Jew!
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From: Brandy
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 10:10 AM
To: Angela Williams
Subject: RE: Here she is...

My friend Joey (gay) comes from a VERY strict Catholic upbringing - went to Catholic school where the nuns would hit his hands with rulers, and he really struggled with all of that when he came out.

Yeah, the ole doc is a strange lady, but very interesting.
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From: Angela Williams
Sent: Thursday, November 29, 2007 10:15 AM
To: Brandy
Subject: RE: Here she is...

Oh yeah… and the Catholics on Gays… that's a doosey! You know, the Catholics say… IT'S OK TO BE GAY (side note: you just can't be a practicing gay). Whhhat? They gotta make ends meet too?! I mean what the heck?! It really makes me laugh… I just want to say in return – SO, what you're saying is… It's ok to have impure thoughts as long as you don't act on them? Well… that sure seems to contradict my Catholic upbringing. Quit making up your own damn rules and let's get in on the no hell idea. THAT'S something worth fighting over.

And FYI – in my 1st grade school, I had nuns as well. Anyone who was left handed was MADE to write with their right. Point in case, my brother is a lefty – well he should have been anyhow. He's ambidextrous now, but in grade school the nuns beat the ever-living snot outta him until he wrote with his right hand. Stupid mean nuns!
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You know... it's pretty amazing that we get anything done when we are "working" - haha! Every time I re-read this email, I laugh my ass off!