another day, another less than satisfied customer...

What is it with people feeling like that just have to be in my business all the damned time?! I’ve been needing to go to Wal-Mart for groceries for what seems like an eternity. I had lots of house guests around New Years / most of January 2013 AND I was like deathly sick for the majority of it all. So I decided that Sunday was the day. $400-and-some-odd-nonsense later, I am almost restocked.

So I’m in the ice-cream section. I grabbed 2 boxes of ice-cream sandwiches, because they’re always nice to have around for my niece, guests and mostly myself. Whatever, I’m like hovering at 147lbs these days, I’m darn near 6’ tall and damnit, I can eat some ice-cream if I want to. Now, I will admit, my shopping cart looked like that of a stoner shopping for nom-noms, but I literally needed something from every section of the damned place since it had been over a month since I went grocery… hell shopping at all.

This older lady sees me grabbing the 2 boxes of ice-creamed delights. She looked at me, raised her eyebrows judgmentally and pursed her lips in surprise mixed with distaste. We made eye contact. Based on the unspoken conversation she was having with me, I felt compelled to offer some sort of explanation for the explosion in my shopping cart.

ME: I haven’t been shopping in a very long time!!
HER: (with a look suggesting she didn’t believe 1 word I was condescendingly saying) Uh huh. I see.
ME: Hey it is what it is. (I slid around to the other side of her to grab some vanilla ice-cream cups… want to know why? Because screw her, that’s why.)
HER: Waiting so long and shopping like you are isn’t ever a good idea and never really works out.
ME: I’m going to make no apologies for my shopping cart or the obscene amount of ice-cream I’m about to buy.
HER: Well obviously you don’t care about your weight or health very much. Why would I expect you to apologize?
ME: Whelp, I’m not. So it would appear like it worked out 100% in my favor, now didn’t it?
HER: (she LITERALLY GASPED and threw her southern “why I do declare” hand over her heart saying) I can’t believe you would be so disrespectful to an elder.
ME: I can’t believe that you even felt the need to judge what I was putting in my cart. Let’s start there, if we’re going to start anywhere.

I was already walking off at that point, so I didn’t wait around to finish the completely ridiculous conversation with her. She said something else as I walked off about how I should have been spanked more as a child or something along those lines. PS – If she knew how much I was actually spanked as a child, she might not have even bothered to engage in this conversation with me. I was spanked often. Most people have met me might say that it wasn’t enough. But this broad?

Sweet baby Moses. WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWNSELVES PEOPLE! Sigh… another day, another less than satisfied customer.