flawless clarity...

original post date: march 28th 2007

I have to say that rich women have just gotten plain unbearable these days. What's with the attitude that you are better than I am because of your zip code or what you drive? And you know what? I bet 99% of those women aren't even the breadwinners. They were those girls you see flittering around Uptown with the Louis Vuitton handbags (God forbid you call it a purse – purse is something you do with your lips, you CARRY a handbag) and Jimmy Choo shoes that their previous sugar daddy purchased for them. I have to say, I ran into one of these ladies today who was about 25 years past her prime! Her audacity, tone, and demeanor floored me. Let's be honest, I really wanted to ever so politely bitch slap her and let her know that the wad of cash neatly stored in her husbands account would not block the force of an oncoming hand. I restrained. This woman pulled up in some SUV that was obviously too big for her and donned a diamond ring the size of Antarctica so as to announce her entrance with her own personal spotlight provided by graded D, VVSI1 diamond, glistening off of the gentle sunlight. I was unimpressed. We were double booked for hair apts with the same lady. She would get her color put on and while it sat, I would get my hair cut. The entire hour I was there, she was rude, hateful and had a total disregard for her tone and whoever else was privileged enough to hear her drone on about how the yard guy just can't plant a magnolia tree correctly. I mean, it's easy – right?

Step one: dig hole.
Step two: take tree out of pot.
Step three: put tree in ground.
Step four: pack dirt in around tree.

Where's the difficulty? I can only assume she lived in some fancy house in some fancy place that only the elite of society even knows about. Wouldn't you think that it comes equipped with elite gardeners? And shit, if my biggest problem is that the magnolia tree was planted two feet too far to the right, I'd call it an effin good day! After the disgusted discussion about the magnolia's, she proceeded to question if our hair lady knew what she was doing and complained the entire time. While I was getting my hair cut and styled, she stood between the only mirror in the place and me. Now, how rude is that? That's pretty damn rude, if you ask me. She obviously didn't think so and even if I would have offered an opinion, I'm pretty sure that my petulant existence would have been a slight but ignorable nuisance.

She managed to put a chink in my ordinarily wonderful haircutting experience. Thinking back on it, I wish I had reached across and given her five across the eye. I think that that would have cancelled out the annoyance and probably would have made for a much better story!