ape-shit crazy marries ape-shit crazy... people amazed?!

I came across this article today, and I just couldn’t help myself…
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Queens resident Emmanuel "Ojo" Ojofeitimi suffered second and third degree burns after his wife poured a pot of boiling water over his genitals on Monday morning!!!!!

Ojo's wife, Oyindamola, believed her husband was being unfaithful and wanted to teach him a lesson!

By covering 30 percent of his body in burns!!!!!!

"I was in bed, I was fast asleep… She came into the bedroom and poured hot water all over me," says Ojo. "I didn't know what had happened. By the time I woke up, the skin was falling off."

The hot water scalded his genitals, arm, back, face and the skin all the way from his knees to belly!!

"It sounded like a woman screaming," a neighbor of the couple told reporters.

After he came to, Ojo's wife was allegedly hovering over her husband with a giant wood board, which he says she would have hit him with if given the chance!

Oyindamola's lawyer, Jennifer Michaelson, claims her client's husband "had a history of abusing her both physically and psychologically," but Ojo "didn't anticipate" the attack at all.

"She does not know how to forgive and forget; she doesn't let anything go by," he continued. "If I come home late from work, she's always assuming that I'm with a woman."

Ojo says he has no plans to file charges against Oyindamola, but he "will file for divorce" from his wife once released from the hospital.

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07282009/news/regionalnews/great_balls_afire__181758.htm
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Ok… 1st off… HAHA! (Not like a maniacal HAHA, but damn, dude got told HAHA).

*clears throat*

I’m generally not one to buy into the whole “women are ape-shit nuts” propaganda, but damn… Oyindamola is ape-shit nuts! You know, it’s the Lorena Bobbitt’s and Oyindamola of the world that give the normal crazy shit that chicks do a bad name. I personally haven’t hunted a boyfriend down at 3am to catch him cheating since my college days. And really, I just chalk it up to the fact that I am too damn lazy to try and “catch” a boyfriend cheating these days. It’s my general disposition that it’ll eventually surface with me having to do little to no work on my end to “catch” it.

But I think that the majority of chicks out there are jealous and nervous about being cheated on and think about it constantly at that. That being said, chicks do some crazy shit when cheating is involved. It’s like a switch goes off in the head and all rationalization and cohesive thoughts aren’t allowed in. I mean, I say that in a – more than usual xx chromosome – sense.

Guys, take note… it’s like an – enter at your own risk – kinda thing. There have been reported cases of scorned women taking out their aggressions of a cheating mate on their prized procession for years. Lorena’s little ride along with her husbands jock in hand happened in what 1993?! But really the kicker is that as she was driving around with it, in hand, she snapped out of her enraged ape-shit stupor – it startled the shit out of her and in an attempt to prevent Mr. Bobbitt from ever being reunited with (we’ll call him) “Ringo” ever again, she tossed it out of a moving vehicle. From what I remember, they found it and successfully reattached it to its rightful owner. I think it would be less than cavalier to even snicker at the notion that John and Ringo will ever really be the same after all of that. (I would like to know what it looks like though, is that wrong?!)

Oyindamola on the other hand… is a bit scary. I mean Lorena going into a fit of rage and we’ll say “blacking out” is definitely, uh… ape-shit nuts, but Oyindamola… this bitch had to WAIT for water to boil. How long does that take really?! Like 15 minutes?! So as she’s staring at pot of water on an open flame for 15 minutes she is seething and plotting. Never once in that time frame does she stop and say – this is crazy… I was gonna pour water on his what?!

Nope! You know the second she saw the 1st sign of a rising bubble off the bottom of that pot of water, used a pot holder (you know to protect her hands) to carry it to her sleeping husbands bedside and (in my head she either) screamed Geronimo or wailed intently like a crazed Banshee Indian whilst dumping it quickly so that maximum exposure to the area occurred before he could wake up and react.

Now excuse me… but that’s damn nuts.

Here’s the part of my pointless rant where I am supposed to defend women, say that we ALL aren’t that crazy, referencing me not doing anything that crazy, and explain it off as to that it was just an extreme situation. Well, I’m not going to do it. How in the hell, after reading that article could I possibly justify one crazed women’s actions and have it be taken as anything but that I am just as crazy as Oyindamola and am hiding it under the guise that I am anything but?! I just won’t do it.

What I will do, however, is ask the NY Post why we need to report stuff like this?! First of all, how you conclude the article with: “Ojo says he has no plans to file charges against Oyindamola, but he ‘will file for divorce’ from his wife once released from the hospital.” – is just plain dumb. The husband isn’t even filing charges! What idiot doesn’t file charges when 30% of his body has 3rd degree burns and that 30% is centralized in his penis region?! Are you kidding me?! You might as well have gone to the ghetto and had 3-4 shirtless people share their opinions of this story to make it remotely more interesting.

Or furthermore, talk to the husband more. It seems like he has a few jewels that could be immortalized throughout the years. He doesn’t seem to be mad about his current situation. So really, the article should have been titled when ape-shit crazy marries ape-shit crazy… stupid shit happens, no lawsuits are filed and everyone feels vindicated.

Bottom line, I mean give credit to both parties. Don’t make homeboy seem like a victim. I think he knew on some level that this would happen (well, probably not exactly this) and he stuck around. I’d venture to say they don’t get a divorce and the next article you publish on them will be about how they are expecting their 3rd child.

What a waste of NY Posts publishing space. Print the real shit… or I’m boycotting you!

*Which PS, is an idle threat… I have nary the time nor energy to focus on productive things like having a voice or taking a stand.*